Unsolicited Advice - Vol 2: Books to Read

When I was pregnant with Grant, I was obsessed with learning all that I could about babies and newborn care. Thankfully, there are a lot of great resources out there! Here are my top picks:

1 - The free Baby Talk magazine. Get a subscription. It is packed with articles about newborn care and gives you lots of information about what your body is going through. Sure, there are some controversial articles (mostly about nursing vs. bottle or family bed vs. crib), but those are kind of fun, too.

2 - On Becoming Babywise - In a nutshell, this book helps you to train your child's eating/sleeping patterns so that he or she is more predictable and you are better able to meet his/her needs.

It is a pretty controversial book, but it was massively helpful for me. The people who don't like it or don't think it works are typically people who didn't really read the whole thing or didn't actually try it. I would read it BEFORE you have your baby. Moms who read it while struggling with feeding/sleeping issues get pretty frustrated (plus their hormones are working against them). (Edit: Rachel, you will have lots of moms tell you that the book did not work for them. It seems that moms who didn't have success in this area are A LOT more vocal than moms who did. I think that those of us who were successful feel a little guilty and don't want to rub it in the other moms' faces, so we don't talk about it much. Trust me, though. There are many, many moms who swear by the principles in the Babywise book. Oh, and in the beginning of the book, the doctors explain that if the child has health problems then the book is probably not for them.)

Word of caution, though: Use your own mommy-instincts. Every child is different. The book makes it sound like if you do it right, your child will take nice, long naps every 3 hours and sleep through the night in a couple of months.

Grant and Cole were both Babywise babies. Once we had things down, it was easy to predict what was going to happen with our boys. One time I dropped Grant off at T&B's and said, "In about 1/2 an hour, he is going to get fussy. You need to put him down for a nap. That will last about 30-45 minutes, then he will wake up. You need to feed him right away. He should be happy for about 2 hours, then he will get fussy again. Put him down for a nap." Low and behold, he did exactly what I said he would do. See . . . he was a Babywise baby. That is the point. Not that your child will do things exactly like the babies in the book, but that he or she will do things according to a routine. I was totally thrilled when Cole behaved more like a Babywise baby (with longer naps!) and I was much more relaxed with his schedule than I was with Grant. Bottom line is that you have to be flexible.

As for "sleeping through the night", you really should look into the definition of this term. For some parents, "the night" means from 12:00am to 6:00am - basically the times that the parents sleep. Their night. My night is about 9:30pm to 7:00am, however I value time with my husband, so I put the baby to bed around 7:00pm. Is it reasonable to ask a newborn to sleep for 12 hours without eating? Nope. In fact, it is dangerous in the beginning (they could go into a diabetic coma - and I don't say that to freak you out, just make you feel better about feeding at night).

So, in the beginning, I put the baby to bed around 7:00pm, then fed him around 11:00, then 3:00, then 7:00. Not really a big deal. After all, I only had to wake up once or twice. And, he slept in between. Most doctors would define "through the night" as about 4 or 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. The baby's sleep, not yours. After a couple of months, we (the baby and I) woke for just one feeding. That lasted a while (maybe 5 or 6 months), then tapered off completely. And, I can say with all honesty that those middle of the night feedings were some of the most precious times.

Okay, I have gone off on a tangent here. Gotta get back on track. I'll cover feedings later.

3 - The Happiest Baby On the Block

When Grant was about 5 months old, Mitch was on a business trip and was watching a morning talk show. He saw the doctor who wrote this book, plus a few parents who tried it being interviewed and insisted that we get it. I checked it out at the library and absolutely loved it. It is very practical and totally works. It should be read either before the baby is born or in the first couple of weeks. It is for babies in the first 3 months when they are totally fussy and you can't figure out why. Yeah, Grandma will call it colic, but it probably isn't (I have SUCH opinions about this label!). The book will explain to you in very practical terms how to soothe your newborn. It was a bit late for Grant (because he grew out of that stage), but we practiced it on other babies in our care, then used it with Cole. LIFESAVER. Seriously. It will save your sanity. How I WISH we had it for our firstborn.

4 - The Girlfriends Guide to . . . - You will laugh your head off and maybe learn something in the process. It is very light reading and so much fun. When you are done with the first one, move along to the next and the next. Oh, you will love these books.

And now, what not to get:
What to Expect (blah, blah, blah) - Dumb book. Not well organized. Don't waste your money. If, however, curiosity has gotten the best of you, borrow the book. Most women who have been pregnant have it. If none of your friends have it anymore, you can always pick up a copy at Goodwill. You'll find lots of copies there . . . hmmm, wonder why?